How i got here

A lot of people like using the phrase, “Everything in life happens for a REASON”, no doubt you have heard it before. I know that I used to employ the phrase. We sometimes use it regarding a new job, missing out on an opportunity, or meeting a new friend or reconnecting with a significant other...again, I know I did. But as I have gotten older, and through some difficult, some times life-changing and stressful experiences, I just couldn’t find the same resolve or simply the same feeling behind that phrase. Maybe because it fails to give us credit for the good things that we do. Or maybe, because it fails to justify the bad that happens to us, or in the world around us. 

Let’s face it, this world is nuts. Like, truly bizarro, bonkers, whatever you want to call it. At the time of writing this, we are living in a world of inflamed political discourse, various natural disasters and seemingly constant potential international conflict. And in most cases, that is just the world we see through a lens, or on the internet or from the headlines. At home and in our personal lives, we face staggering student loans and other bills to pay, regret from relationships lost and second thoughts about the decisions we have made. 

With all of this in mind, what do we truly want? Happiness? Peace? Health? Love? Whatever it is today, it may change tomorrow. In order to achieve what we truly are looking for, what we truly want, we must break through the obstacles that keep us from it. Both internally and externally….and doing it just once, isn’t good enough. We need to create healthy patterns and healthy habits that allow us to be the person we truly want to be. 

Now I haven’t won a Super Bowl, or achieved massive wealth. I haven’t graduated from Oxford, and I don’t have a Ph.D….but chances are, you haven’t either. And that’s ok, so please indulge me as I take you through what led me to this point. This started out as my therapy, so please, follow along and enjoy the ride!

finding inspiration

I think we all look for that ah hah moment. That grand gesture, that movie moment. But really, we should be looking for that ah hah feeling. That feeling however momentary and quick it might be, will give us real clues as to what we are searching for. Career changes can be scary and overwhelming. How will i make a living, have benefits, etc. But before you get there, you must find what it is that will excite and fulfill you. And it can be a small moment, that if you are too stressed and worried about the future, you may miss it. Yesterday, I volunteered at my son’s school. Originally, I was scheduled to work overtime, a day in which I would have made extra money, money that could help my family. But I gave  it back and committed to helping out at RISDeaf. I made the decision, and never looked back. I prepared for my time, I was doing a demonstration for exercising and wellness (enrichment period) for a group of about 20 deaf/hard of hearing high school students. It was awesome, one of my fist times “signing” in ASL for real, in front of people. I was very comfortable in the setting and knew how gracious the students and staff were, so I didn’t stress over the mistakes I may make. It went great. The next hour or so was like a high. It was so uplifting, enlightening and fulfilling. Now who is to say what that develops into, a job, a career, more volunteering, but what I do know is that I want to get that feeling again, from serving others in some manner, feeling like I made a difference, albeit a very very small one, while still feeling challenged, in whatever I may undertake next.